Defending marriage

There has been a lot of attention in the media lately on the issue of gay marriage with many pushing (and pushing hard) for it to be legalised. The Catholic Bishops Conference of England and Wales have been very active and very vocal on this subject, trying to show the world its true meaning, its true dignity and why gay 'marriage' isn't, in fact, marriage at all. Christians as well as many people from other religions have receive fierce criticism, even abuse, when expressing their views that marriage is between one man and one woman and therefore the legal definition should not be altered. In his letter a few months ago Archbishop Vincent Nichols said,

"The roots of the institution of marriage lie in our nature. Male and female we have been created, and written
into our nature is this pattern of complementarity and fertility. This pattern is, of course, affirmed by many other religious traditions. Christian teaching fills out this pattern and reveals its deepest meaning, but neither the Church nor the State has the power to change this fundamental understanding of marriage itself. Nor is this simply a matter of public opinion."

This is further affirmed by the Catechism which says;

""The intimate community of life and love which constitutes the married state has been established by the Creator and endowed by him with its own proper laws. . . . God himself is the author of marriage." The vocation to marriage is written in the very nature of man and woman as they came from the hand of the Creator. Marriage is not a purely human institution despite the many variations it may have undergone through the centuries in different cultures, social structures, and spiritual attitudes. These differences should not cause us to forget its common and permanent characteristics. Although the dignity of this institution is not transparent everywhere with the same clarity, some sense of the greatness of the matrimonial union exists in all cultures. "The well-being of the individual person and of both human and Christian society is closely bound up with the healthy state of conjugal and family life." (CCC 1603)

Man has no authority to alter the definition of marriage since he himself is not the author of it. It is a gift lovingly given to us by God to bring man and woman into a more profoundly intimate union. They are no longer 'man' and 'woman' but one flesh, the two come together, giving all of themselves to their spouse with nothing held back; not emotionally, physically, psychologically, materially, the two literally do aspire - with God's help and by his grace - to become one. This is a reflection of the love shared within the Trinity (I'm not clever enough to explain that...but Blessed John Paul II did exceptionally in Theology of the Body. If marriage is redefined by the State then, even though they insist that religious institutions will not be required to perform these services, it will fundamentally undermine marriage as a whole. It will utterly distort the roots and source of what this amazing and holy sacrament is, it will uproot even further people's conception of what marriage is all about and why two people enter into it, it will totally devalue it too. (Anneli has written a superb article on the St. John's Pro Life blog as part of the Back to Basics series. You can read it here, you certainly won't regret it!)

All this having been said there has been a lot of misunderstanding and, sadly, venom from both sides which means we both

become deaf to one another. The vocation of the Christian is to proclaim the Good News of Our Lord Jesus Christ and to do so with love and understanding. We can't do this properly if we just shout our view at other people, preaching the Gospel at them and not to them. We cannot hope to help people see and understand the innate dignity and wonderful truth of marriage if we don't listen, if we don't engage with others adequately. The Bishops have called us to action, they have asked us to sign the petition started by the Coalition for Marriage. You can sign it here or add your name to it in paper form in the porch at St. John's. Action is most definitely necessary but there is no need to be rude or unkind in this situation. Christ's message was love, Christ's gift of marriage is to help man and woman truly express their love, to bring it to fulfillment, if we act without it then we will accomplish nothing.

Preparing for marriage

Today at the 9 o'clock Mass Fr. Aaron blessed four lovely couples (and the ladies' engagement rings) who are preparing for the sacrament of marriage. It was amazing to do this in the middle of Lent, amidst all of the penance and fasting and almsgiving we clearly see the love God has for us reflected in each of these couples as they get ready to commit themselves to each other. Please, please pray for Dan & Katrina, Julie & Antoine, Bun & Chris, Jane & Graham and for Amanda and Philip who have been leading the marriage prep course and do marvellous work!

Standing, from left to right; Dan & Katrina, Julie & Antoine, Bun & Chris
Seated; Jane & Graham

Speaking up for marriage

Today Archbishop Vincent Nichols issued a pastoral letter on the proposed redefinition of marriage by the coalition government. What Cameron and Clegg are proposing is radical and will fundamentally undermine traditional marriages and have big implications for our society as a whole. Please do read the letter and also sign the petition organised by the Coalition for Marriage here.


A Letter on Marriage from the President and Vice-President of the Bishops’ Conference of England and Wales


Dear Brothers and Sisters in Jesus Christ,


This week the Coalition Government is expected to  present its consultation paper on the proposed change in the legal definition of marriage so as to open the institution of marriage to same-sex partnerships. 


Today we want to put before you the Catholic vision of marriage and the light it casts on the 
importance of marriage for our society.


The roots of the institution of marriage lie in our nature. Male and female we have been created, and written into our nature is this pattern of complementarity and fertility. This pattern is, of course, affirmed by many other religious traditions. Christian teaching fills out this pattern and reveals its deepest meaning, but neither the Church nor the State has the power to change this fundamental understanding of marriage itself. Nor is this simply a matter of public opinion. Understood as a lifelong commitment between a man and a woman, and for the creation and upbringing of children, marriage is an expression of our fundamental humanity. Its status in law is the prudent fruit of experience, for the good of the spouses and the good of the family. In this way society esteems the married couple as the source and guardians of the next generation. As an institution marriage is at the foundation of our society.


There are many reasons why people get married. For most couples, there is an instinctive understanding that the stability of a marriage provides the best context for the flourishing of their relationship and for bringing up their children. Society recognises marriage as an important institution for these same reasons: to enhance stability in society and to respect and support parents in the crucial task of having children and bringing them up as well as possible.


The Church starts from this appreciation that marriage is a natural institution, and indeed the Church recognises civil marriage. The Catholic understanding of marriage, however, raises this to a new level. As the Catechism says: ‘The matrimonial covenant, by which a man and a woman establish between themselves a partnership of the whole of life, by its nature  is  ordered toward the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of offspring; this covenant between baptised persons has been raised by Christ the Lord to the dignity of a sacrament.’ (para.1601)


These rather abstract words are reflected however imperfectly in the experience of married couples.   We know that at the heart of a good marriage is a relationship of astonishing power and richness, for the couple, their children, their wider circle of friends and relations and society. As a Sacrament, this is a place where divine grace flows. Indeed, marriage is a sharing in the mystery of God’s own life: the unending and perfect flow of love between Father, Son and Holy Spirit.We know, too, that  just as God’s love is creative, so too the love of husband and wife is creative of new life.  It is open, in its essence, to welcoming new life, ready to love and nurture that life to its fullness, not only here on earth but also into eternity. 


This is a high and noble vision, for marriage is a high and noble vocation. It is not easily followed. But we are sure that Christ is at the heart of marriage, for his presence is a sure gift of the God who is Love, who wants nothing more than for the love of husband and wife to find its fulfilment.  So the daily effort that  marriage requires, the many ways in which family living breaks and reshapes us, is a sharing in the mission of Christ, that of making visible in the world the creative and forgiving love of God.


In these ways we understand marriage to be a call to holiness for a husband and wife, with children recognised and loved as the gift of God, with fidelity and permanence as the boundaries which create its sacred space. Marriage is also a crucial witness in our society, contributing to its stability, its capacity for compassion and forgiveness and its future, in a way that no other institution can. In putting before you these thoughts about why marriage is so important, we also want to recognise the experience of those who have suffered the pain of bereavement or relationship breakdown and their contribution to the Church and society. Many provide a remarkable example of courage and fidelity. Many strive to make the best out of difficult and complex situations. We hope that they are always welcomed and helped to feel valued members of our parish communities.


The reasons given by our government for wanting to change the definition of marriage are those of equality and discrimination. But our present law does not discriminate unjustly when it requires both a man and a woman for marriage. It simply recognises and protects the distinctive nature of marriage. 


Changing the legal definition of marriage would be a profoundly radical step. Its consequences should be taken seriously now. The law helps to shape and form social and cultural values. A change in  the law would gradually and inevitably transform society’s understanding of the purpose of marriage. It would reduce it just to the commitment of the two people involved. There would be no recognition of the complementarity of male and female or that marriage is intended for the procreation and education of children.


We have a duty to married people today, and to those who come after us, to do all we can to ensure that the true meaning of marriage is not lost for future generations.


With every blessing 
                                             
Most Reverend V. Nichols                             Most Reverend P. Smith